Nick paumgarten online dating
In spite of all the technological hoohah, familiar patterns do prevail: empathy breeds intimacy, expectation alienates, safety fosters communication, silence inspires defensiveness, the more things change, the more they stay the same: The process of selecting and securing a partner, whether for conceiving and rearing children, or for enhancing one’s socioeconomic standing, or for attempting motel-room acrobatics, or merely for finding companionship in a cold and lonely universe, is as consequential as it can be inefficient or irresolute.Lives hang in the balance, and yet we have typically relied for our choices on happenstance—offhand referrals, late nights at the office, or the dream of meeting cute.Author Nick Paumgarten points out that the sites in question – OK Cupid, e Harmony and – are not only in the business of setting people up, they’re in the business of selling, well, love.Each site also has their own philosophy of what works best (e.g.Sometimes the man says he’s straight but the profile reads gay.
The raw material, in the matching process, is a mass of stated preference: your desire or intolerance for certain traits and characteristics. The more sophisticated ones attempt to identify and exploit the dissonance between what you say you want and what you really appear to want, through the choices you make online. The explanation for this asymmetry, which isn’t exactly news, is that men can and usually do pursue younger women, and that often the men who are single are exactly the ones who prefer them.Although the proposition of four types is not new (Plato, Jung), her nomen clature and their biochemical foundation represent a frontier of relationship science, albeit one that is thinly populated and open to flanking attack. Fisher contends that dating online is a reversion to an ancient, even primal approach to pairing off.She conjures millions of years of human prehistory: small groups of hunter-gatherers wandering the savanna, and then congregating a few times a year at this or that watering hole.They rely on algorithms, those often proprietary mathematical equations and processes which make it possible to perform computational feats beyond the reach of the naked brain.
Some add an extra layer of projection and interpretation; they adhere to a certain theory of compatibility, rooted in psychology or brain chemistry or genetic coding, or they define themselves by other, more readily obvious indicators of similitude, such as race, religion, sexual predilection, sense of humor, or musical taste.
“What you do is more important than what you say,” Greg Blatt, who is the C. For women surveying a landscape of banished husbands or perpetual boys, the biological rationale offers little solace. The dating profile, like the Facebook or Myspace profile, is a vehicle for projecting a curated and stylized version of oneself into the world.