Dating someone who is guarded
Someone whose heart is guarded has heard the “sweet talk” before. If you love someone with a guarded heart, demonstrate your love through your actions. Such is the insidious result of abandonment, abuse and neglect.
Ask anyone that has been in a relationship with a narcissist or sociopath. Does this mean you should censor ever word uttered? But you should consider whether or not such words are spoken with sincerity and truth. What you are stands over you the while, and thunders so that I cannot heart what you say to the contrary.” (This is Emerson’s original quote, which is now promulgated as “Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you say,” or some other variant.)Digression aside, how you choose to act overwhelmingly triumphs any words you speak. If you truly (truly) love the person, you must find the wherewithal to see things through.
Eventually, the person will slowly let their guard down.
But while their “security system” has been downgraded, their defensive mechanisms remain on alert (a byproduct of evolution, by the way.)Still, many will somehow manage to find a person to believe in despite their understandable reservations. That other “someone” must often contend with the remnants of the guarded person’s past.
Unfortunately, having been hurt in the past has led us to be untrusting of ourselves, and we will always second guess ourselves when start to be attracted to a certain someone.
But if you don’t mind wading into a relationship with us, it will show you’re able to accommodate to our needs.
Equipped with this knowledge, you’ve already conquered half of the battle. Someone with a guarded heart expects another to give up on them.For others, it’s important to be realistic about the nature of your relationship (e.g.you’re not in love, or the situation is too stressful.) Numerous unforeseen challenges will test your determination, patience, and, yes, your love. Tell them you care about them – and that they’re worthy of the best that life has to offer.Then, there are those “other cases.”Some folks find it easy to dust themselves off and move on, and some don’t.
Those in the latter group have often experienced hurt – in some form – at the hands of someone who promised the world only to deliver nothing of the sort.Since it’s incredibly hard for us to trust anyone, we don’t dive into relationships head first.